Teacher

[In light of a very bad evening, I had to write and this is what came of it. It is not fully realized. It is raw. But… it is. That will have to be enough]

Teacher
Teachim
Teachme
Teachus
Teachyou
Teach
Teacher

Every day
5 am
waking before the sun
has chances
coffee cup
walk the dog
feed him too
feed the cat
one and two
claim a solitary moment
breathe.
5:30 am
shower and believe
the night dreams
down the drain
cleansing every beat
to new
6 am
wrinkled clothes
but no one knows
mismatched socks
check the clock
alarms sound brilliant
6:16 am out the door
grab the lunch
to eat in 20 – if your lucky
the coffee luke warm
traffic, tolls, and horns
blare and glare into view
7/11 sandwich to
make it through
7 am in the door
desks to move
papers to shuffle
emails to read
get a report
set up the board
read the plan
read the plan again
count the copies
and make some more
7:30 sign a document
discuss the little one
with family problems
set a time to
discuss trauma the day before
7:50 bell rings
and
little feet, little hearts, little about to be’s
scramble up stairs
deal with stares
and all the wilds outside
… you greet
some need hugs
some need a kind word
some joke
some smile
some fight
all touch the world
some bless
some curse
some are ready
and some are
desperately
hungry
so there is cereal in the drawer
and there is always more
some need love
some are trying to find it
some just need a pencil
for the 100th time
and so it is given
and so it is given – always
8:20 am the day some sit patient
some chatter
some clatter in late
grab their attention
don’t sit down
walk the room of 20
or 30
can’t sit that one there
must know this one needs
a walk with fresh air
or things get tossed
this one has no confidence
that one is never wrong
this one is just glad to be
that one is quiet and hopes
you don’t notice
but wants you to notice and
by 8:45 you have met each one
given instruction
asked for their contemplation
giving meaning to the world they
have yet to truly be in
9:40 the bell rings
repeat
again
10:15 lunch for this block
walk to noise
keep one back who struggles
because they cannot be
strong in the face of so much
so you forego your 20
of breathe
so they can breathe, peace
then before you know it
you are migrating down halls
clamoring into classroom
to teach them all
correcting where you can
lending words of hope
or direction
11:55 am
repeat
pent up angst
not a moment outside
everyone is tired
the sun is beckoning
this one wants to go to the bathroom
and that one is bored
so they want to go
desperately changing
the plan you accounted for
twice
to meet them where they are
and what will keep their minds
fast upon the moments of growth
but that one said some word of desperation
to another who took it as a slight
now you must navigate ‘the fight’
alone with 20 or 30
little hearts waiting for you
to be the hero, the protector,
the leader, the fun and peace maker
and if you are lucky
you will not forget to pass out the work
give the homework
encourage them one final time
wish them well as they step out of sight
at the last bell
and then
meeting at 1:30 pm
forgetting to pee
its been since 6:15 but there
are things to do
planning the weeks ahead
a meeting to be had
maybe two
and out for duty
now it’s three
the world has spun
papers stack
thought not from lack of try
clean the room
gather a jacket left
write a note
check the email
attend conference
spend an hour tutoring
or maybe two
5pm the clock strikes
the traffic, tolls and honks
wait to greet tired feet
5:30pm if your lucky
walk the dog
feed him too
feed the cats
both one and two
scramble for dinner
while the computer lights
write a plan, check a test,
as the day winds and sees
you finally remember that
you had to pee!
7pm remember the dinner in the
microwave
maybe it will
save
till tomorrow
take a breath and breathe
call a parent
maybe two or even three
check in on hunger
address the fight
take off your shoes
and get ready for night
lay your head down
at some where between
dreams and want to sigh
maybe if your lucky you will get a solid 5
but then
5….

the alarm rings
again
waking before the sun
you vow to get it better
than the day before
and this is

a teacher
Teachim
Teachme
Teachus
Teachyou
Teach
Teacher

Verdant luck dripping

Verdant luck dripping
from seams of star lit hope
on my soul’s jacket
a pocket of stolen joy
bursting to break free
of all and everything
I was
ever ever
suppose to be.

I find myself
on cold green earth
plucking petals
dashing daises to the ground
under feet of youth
asking
should I breath
would you?

and should I
should I wish
upon a star above
a clover leaf of God
would I hear
my heart wishing
may it never
may.
it.
never.
never
fall.

Return to Nature

I want to return to nature. I want to be enveloped in her embrace, touch the heart of the forest, and delight in her acceptance of each cautious footfall as I return home to her, a wayward daughter long devoted to the new world of metal and maligned dreams but knowing I belong to the world that was and should ever be. 

Valley of Death

[Written to:  Song of Sheherazade ]

Wind whips whispering want

each step a sip of winters wailing

and springs unfortunate delay.

Sky dangerously dark above

earth languidly unaware of soles

pressed defiantly deep upon it

carry one, who,

wrapped in weary wandering,

a wisp waging war against

gods who no longer speak

and siren songs no longer singing,

walks towards the edge of possibility

seeking a thing desired yet un-obtained.

Lo, thirst for rain does not grant it

nor retching render a ransom of hunger’s despair.

Dust for tears strangle sound

to subjugate doubt with oppression and fear!

All here gnash and gape and claw

at the heart of the feet who

carry it.

What is this madness?

Who, in a seeming sea of uncelebrated hubris,

rages yet again in this, an immortal and hopeless, quest?

A reply slips free

“’tis the quest of the living

the survival of a dream.”

Requiem Dreaming

Requiem Queen

of my dreaming

steal my wishful thinking

make real the passing of

stars mindward

bring me whole through the veil

stretched thin in sleep

let me breathe where

now only modern bells

dully sound

Allow chance choice and charity

mystery, magics, and madness

manifest touchable.

Please, do not leave me

here.

do not leave me

here.

not here.

… with intent.

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