Tag Archives: youth

Blu thoughts on a cold night

It has been a hard few weeks. The days and nights have run cavalierly into sepia dreams.  I lay awake deciphering the light and shadow blurring upon the pages of mind. Are the colors of my youth so diluted into the whitening hairs upon my head as to be forgotten? Or is this simply a new canvas upon which the universe has given me to paint? Perhaps with new hues to draw out new wisdoms?

Pausing. I do not like the world to glimpse the unsettled floor of thought beneath the glass covered waters of words. Yet, even poets grieve, heave, and slump at the weight of life. Sages, too, surely pass through times of wintered worry and sands of doubt. So here lay drafts of a soul in need.

Sometimes it is hard to remember the passings of adventures I once held as trophies bravely displayed. Sometimes it is difficult to call to mind the faces of those with whom I shared briefest joys. I mourn them. I let loose the tears of forgetting to wash away the sense of loss. Then, I come here to be refreshed and revitalized, renewed by words my former self gave to those I have never met.

A question:  Did my past self, in prophetic unknowing, leaving a message for this self who would pass by to read her words?

Perhaps. A thought is pushing forward, determined to be written.

The colors of my life have not faded, have they? The passing of my youth does not mean the youth of my soul has gone. I have passed into the world, been changed, and continue changing. This is epic. This is the epic journey of life. To fill the world with naivety of youth, to paint with the grandiose visions of eyes yet tried, and to live a life filled with the struggle to see it come to fruition. Who is to say that vision should be now? Perhaps the painting will not be finished by my hand. Perhaps the painting will be finished by the ones who come after. Maybe this self, is leaving breadcrumbs of wisdom for another hungry soul, who will feast on them and leave the scraps of their successes, failures, fears, doubts, and triumphs for the next. So… mourn I the last of my memory, but joyfully I claim the knowing that the tomorrow I have not come to will be greater than this if not in me, in those I share with.

I shall leave these thoughts as they are, for now. Perhaps I shall make sense of them tomorrow.

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Ancient Cottonwood

Cast your cares at old roots lifting stone
Earth absorbs tears of youth
a Strong center 25 paces round
lean in, hide, and rest.
Limbs and emeralds shade,
Sky none the ‘ware.
So, close eyes without care,
whisper long held shadows,
I shall never divulge; Ancient Cottonwood.

A girl on a step

She has not

wandered yet into

the world of unwanted

unwasted

or unwepted

She sits confidently

on the steps and

leans her chin into palm

so nonchalantly even the wind

sighs in her contentment

her youthful ability to see the world

just as it is at this moment

without prejudice

without care

without a hint of

overlapping layers

photoshoped and

pristine in their creation

she

is a girl

sitting on a step

looking out at the grass

wondering

why to a hundred

questions she’ll

one day answer

but for now

is just the envy

of the aged

and the curiosity of

passing ants lingering

near her shoe.

To my younger self

You are

exactly who you should be

not an ounce grown

in the wrong

direction.

The seed of your

talents

grow beautifuly

unique

not a smidge

out of line or

question.

Your character is

witfully designed

trustfully divine

not a sinuew of

soul is placed

in the trash bin

or going

to hell because

love is not a sin

you’re not ugly

or unlikable

unworthy or

un-anything,

don’t listen to them

their snide remarks

their better than’s

because in the end

you turn out just fine

you

live a life

they said you would

not dare

do

so

when they cast your

lots beneath the stands

while you step up

soloed from the band

when they laugh at

clothes handed down

or the silver shining

in that smile

when they poke

prod and manipulate

throw, hit, and

simply hate

you

don’t you look in the mirror

and do

the same thing

because

You are

exactly who you should be

not an ounce grown

in the

wrong direction.